Back in 1885, Ol' Number 9 here used to haul hundr'ds o' pounds o' coal across the land ev'ry day. But ever since them young'uns took over the train, it ain't been no good fer carryin' coal. Hell, it ain't no good fer nothin' no more except to satisfy their need fer more "excitement". And since it can't carry coal no more, the li'l squirts used the coal they found to make some kinda sculpture thing. Psh. These kids today. Why, back in mah day, we didn't need none o' them coal roasters to get by.
Excitement: 7.80
Intensity: 7.85
Nausea: 5.14
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